Everyone is gonna hurt you at some point in your life. Its just a matter of finding the ones that are worth suffering for. Ive been hurt so many times, ive fallen down, and never thought id be able to get up again. But its finding the strength to get back up again that makes you who you are. Like they say, what doesnt kill you can only make you stronger. Only some things hurt so much that the scars will never fully be healed. Ive learned this the hard way. I have told myself time and time again that im over him, i couldnt care less if he wants me or not but truth is, i struggle going through just one day without talking to him, and it kills me to know that he doesnt feel the same way. If there was one thing that i was able to change in my life it would be that i love him. I hate that i love him. It amazes me how you can hate but love someone so much all at the same time. I clong to every word, just the smallest things that he says can make my day, make me smile like no one else can. I dont know how to make this stop. Make the pain of not having him go away. Im clinging onto the smallest hope that he will one day want me back. Even though i know it wont happen i would wait around forever just wishing that it would. I just cant seem to move on. I dont know how to let go. I cant let go. And its slowly driving me insane.
The only thing that is keeping me from losing my mind are the amazing people that iv surrounded myself with. I will forever be greatful to them.
